Unbreak My Heart

She lay there, using her bag as a pillow, right in the middle of the grounds. The huge building towered above and all around her. All she could hear were cicadas chirruping away in some corner. Only a few parts of the building were illuminated and there wasn't a soul in sight, save a stray cat prowling here and there. There was a slight nip in the air since it was late evening. The moon was out already.

Her friends had avoided her that day. All they had done was offer her their sympathetic words and just left her alone, when all she wanted was for them to come and hug her, or at the least, buy her some chocolate to make her feel better.

The scene was beautiful, just like what she used to dream of. But today, she just couldn't appreciate how beautiful it was. Until last week, every Friday, she looked forward to the end of classes, when she would go out with him for a quick bite, then come back and lie under the moonlit sky. Just the two of them, hand in hand, looking up at the sky; and then at each other. Sometimes they would sit and talk for hours, until one of them would glance at their watch and realise it was time to go home. He would offer her his cardigan if she felt cold. It was her idea of Dreamland. Their little escape route from Reality before they parted ways for their long train journey home.

With him, she felt warm and secure, like an invisible quilt draped over her, shielding her from every cold night, every day that she had to go to bed on an empty stomach. With him, she felt her pain dull and her life become a more bearable one to live. She hated going home each day to her perpetually quarreling parents and the incessant cries of her baby brother, waiting to be fed. She'd sometimes notice him staring at her frayed clothes and footwear and torn exercise books, not saying anything, but understanding it all. Each day they left for home, he never forgot to hug her and tell her that he promised to be there always, no matter what. She loved him with all her heart.

She sometimes felt weak and vulnerable inside, with the thought that he had become so much a part of her identity, that she now found it hard to be without him. This made her feel guilty with the misunderstanding that she was never there when he needed her. When she did finally gather the courage to tell him this, he had shut her up with a kiss. She still remembered his words, "Just looking at you every day gives me the strength to carry on with life...so, my dear, never say things like this again".

She stared up vacantly at the sky, counting the stars, because she wanted to sleep right there and not let his thoughts torment her all night. But she couldn't. She could feel the tears coming for the umpteenth time that day. Before she knew it,  her petite frame was racked with sobs that just wouldn't stop. His memories came flooding back to her...all his hugs and their letters, countless evenings spent at the beach....it all made her sob afresh. She could feel the energy draining out of herself. Suddenly she felt a slight shiver and instinctively reached out for him....but a sharp stab of realisation told her he wasn't there.  She lay there like that for sometime, lost in his thoughts, cold, empty, destroyed.

Glancing at her watch, she realised it was time to go home. But she couldn't bring herself to get up. She saw her phone blinking and felt her heart leap, half expecting a message from him…but it was from one of her friends, with the same sympathetic words she was so tired of hearing now.

"I love you :) can't wait to see you tomorrow :)" was his last message to her.

Tragically, the "tomorrow" never came.

He passed away in a car accident the same night.

"I'll always be there for you, no matter what", was what he had once promised her. His premature exit had left her feeling heartbroken and betrayed. 

But what she didn't know was that he had turned into a star that twinkled whenever she looked up at the sky, watching over her always.

He had kept his promise. 

 

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