November Rain

With only bittersweet memories remaining

and tears streaming down my face

it's been long; very long,

ever since you punched a hole through my heart

and left me languishing that day...

As raindrops wash away my tears; I wonder

Maybe someone up there's telling me not to cry

so that I can get over everything;

over your abrupt goodbye...

November rain, to take away my fear;

so that the fog can finally clear

For me to learn to move on

for when all other hope is gone

Now I can dream of a new beginning;

now I can wash away my pain

It's come like a whirlwind; this November rain

and now whenever there's a downpour,

when I least expected it to come;

I know that it's the November rain

telling me that the battle's just begun...

Benjamin

My earliest memory of you; is you playing with your siblings in a huge quilt-lined basket. You were so adorable! I fell in love with you instantly. Nestled in my arms for the whole journey, we brought you home; after which you promptly fell asleep for the rest of the evening.

You conveniently thought my footwear was like a teething device for you. I've lost count of how many pairs of footwear have been sacrificed, the most memorable ones being my orange-and-purple floaters and my bronze ballet flats. Haha! But I didnt mind; since you were my first experience of having a pet in the house :)

Then Hansie came; and you had a companion for life. My own pet; I thought. But you were still as much mine, as he was. You loved us all so much that it was never enough for you. That look in your eyes whenever I would say, "Bye, Benny!" while leaving for home...

I marveled at your superior intellect; and I was convinced that you were the brainiest dog around. Who else could remember the names of forty different toys; and also all their current locations around the house? Your very first toy was a brown colored teddy bear, with the plastic eyes removed; of course. You played with it right till the end.

I still wonder why you were so attached to me, that you wouldnt even let anyone wake me up from sleep. Why you always wanted to lick my face clean whenever I came to your house. Why you'd be so happy on all those occasions I came down with you for a walk, that you'd keep looking back and waiting for me if I was walking slowly. Why you loved that squeaking duck of yours so much, that you would take it to bed with you. Why you would never bark and show your displeasure at anything. Why you'd get so happy for the most trivial of things. Why you hated cars and food so much. Why you never bit me, even once.

I'm sure even the crows are going to miss you; because they won't have anyone to bark at them now.

I remember how lazy you used to feel to go for morning walks. I miss your deep barking filling the air as soon as anyone came in. I miss that impish look on your face when we discovered that you'd been up to something. I won't find mutton bones and dog chews hidden under bathmats anymore. I won't find you cowering under the sofa after a scolding session. I won't find the bathroom drain covers you so loved playing with. (You had very queer tastes, I must say!)

I remember my grandmother's anguish that morning we took you to the hospital. It was the third time she'd be going through this. Why, Benny?

The house looks uncharacteristically empty now without your green basket of toys. You're not there, sniffing furiously at the crack under the door, eagerly waiting for us to come in. That characteristic smell of dog pee permeating the air has vanished, all of a sudden. There aren't any old blankets covering the floor. There are no packets of Pedigree and dog chews in the kitchen cupboards. No sign of your blue water bowl too. Where have you gone?

I miss you so much, Benny. Why did you go away?

Such A Long Journey

Yeah, well, we've all heard ENOUGH about such topics. But I want to rant about this, it has a certain cathartic value for me.

I remember myself entering college, a nervous wreck of a fifteen year old, savouring my new-found happiness at being out of school and FINALLY into college; yet a little unsure about how life would now take its course. I remember looking up at the imposing college building and gaping in awe; because it uncannily resembled Hogwarts School Of Witchcraft and Wizardry (the place I secretly wanted to attend). And yes; true to my dream, it did become my real-life Hogwarts for the next two years.

I still remember the class full of unknown people I was put into; and how I came home that day, gushing about how much I liked the place and the few people that I had got to know (they're my best friends now :D) 

I miss about all my lectures in the spacious, high-ceilinged classes and all the fun we used to have, napping, eating, listening to music, staring out into space, or simply talking away to glory. I remember my disappointment when I received my marks for an examination (they weren't up to my standard of "good marks") and a friend telling me that I was too young to have my life revolving solely around academics; and that there was much more in life to experience and enjoy.

I remember my English teacher; who gave us some very important life lessons. Sitting in her classes all those innumerable Tuesdays and Thursdays, we learnt a lot about everything in particular. She converted even the most boring topics into something new; something worth pondering upon. I miss those lectures we had with everyone clamouring to have his or her say on the topic being discussed.

I remember my heartbeat accelerating whenever I saw that one person I admired and looked up to. Raging hormones, you'd call it. But for me, it was the realisation that the "love" they talked and sang about in numerous songs and films really existed. It was the very first time in my life that I started maintaining a personal diary to clear my confused mind.

On the last day of college, I felt strangely empty, like I'd never see my friends again; that life wouldn't ever be the same for me. The fact that I was going to be leaving to go to another college; and that my friends would be staying back, didnt help either.

My initial trepidation at the thought of being somewhere else other than Hogwarts has long gone. Now I feel perfectly at home, bending over a smoking pot of stew and sporting burn marks on my hands and fingers. I have many new friends. But somehow, a small part of me still yearns to be in Hogwarts once again, to re-live all the good times I had there.

My friends say that Hogwarts has lost its charm. But I beg to differ. Whenever I visit, I still feel happiness burgeoning inside me. For me, it is and will always be where I spent the most memorable and most defining two years of my life.

Hogwarts gave me wings: to dream; to fly; and most importantly, to be myself.