Pen And Paper.

There's my heart, laid bare on the blank sheet,

so that my mind can read what its been denying all along

Waves of turmoil, finally coming to rest

as my pen glides over the paper

writing words of solace;

the lyrics of my favourite song

The page gradually grows damp

as I feel a lump in my throat rising

The letters smudge all over

yet I continue writing

Snow white, marred by harsh black

that turns into a watery trickle as my tears start to flow

What must I do about questions

whose answers I do not know?

Lamenting over love

there's my frantically beating heart

laid bare across not one, but dozens of pages,

so that I can read it all

sometimes there are neat loops

sometimes, angry scrawls

The moon glows ivory and starts to wane

and across the sky, spreads the first flush of dawnlight

But I'm waiting to repel reality

so that I can curl up into a ball on these pages

and sleep there through the night....

when suddenly, my furiously scribbling hand stops....

and my tears cease to fall

The ink has finally stopped smudging

because now, I feel no pain at all...

Desolation.

Heat waves shimmer around me like a sandstorm

which don't seem to clear; and I can't see through the haze;

these are your blessings.

Look at my family

Look at their empty eyes and stomachs

Look all around you, Mother

Where were you, when my world came crashing down around me?

You have betrayed me, Mother...

Life changes colours like the changing seasons;

green to gold

then to yellow

and now nothing at all;

You once gave me life

don't take it away now...

What wrong have I done, Mother?

Our lives are the same

both barren and parched

deprived of water and food

blazing in the intense heat

without any shelter.

If this is how you bless me; then so be it.

Reeling under unpaid debts and ruthless landowners,

my glance extends both ways:

once at the noose lying on the floor;

and once at my wife's vacant eyes

and then at the empty well in the courtyard.

My fields are dry

the animals are starving

and my children clamour for food.

Look at their emaciated bodies, Mother!

I worshipped you like a god

don't curse me now...

You once gave me life

don't take it away now...